Monday, October 5, 2009

Appreciate the Finer Things in Life: Gourmet Pretzels

In no way, how, shape or form am I ready to post about my virgin trip to Izeafest 09. Though, during my return flight, I found something really funny...and just HAD to share.

Okay, well, maybe it's really not THAT funny - but when you are on a flight that is rocking and rolling, just attended sessions for 2 days straight, had a few (ahem) drinks, slept very little for three nights and sweated your armpits off at Sea World all morning - sometimes certain things can become funny, rather quickly.

You know those cruddy little snacks that airlines give you? Yeah, the ones that are supposed to tie you over after your 469 hour layover and/or delay?

On my return flight from Orlando, they handed me a little bag of...Gourmet Pretzels. (what exactly makes a pretzel "Gourmet")
Little metallic blue packages of baked flour goodness - just what I wanted when I'm about to vomit from turbulence.

I'm taking this straight from the package...ready?

HOW TO EAT
GOURMET PRETZELS
ON A LOW-FARE AIRLINE

(SEE BACK FOR COMPLETE DETAILS)

Eating instructions:
1. Think about our wonderful low fares at airtran.com as you open packet.(In my words: pay no attention to the $15 charge for first bag checked)
2. Place a pretzel in mouth. With each crunch, be reminded of our low fares. (In my words: not the $6-$20 we wanted to charge you to pick your own seating)
3. As you swallow, remember again just how low the fares are.(In my words: You won't think twice about having to tip just to have curbside check in service)
4. Repeat until pretzel packet is empty. (In my words: I bet that little snack just made you even more hungry)
5. Keep empty packet to remind yourself to book at airtran.com, where you'll always find our lowest fares. (In my words: Don't even dare think about asking for seconds)

So, yes, the pretzels WERE free. And, having free WIFI on board was the most fantastic thing ever invented. But may I make a recommendation? Next time, I would like to see instructions on "How to Eat a Turkey Avocado Roll Up with Cool Ranch Doritos and a chewy Brownie Without Raising Rates On A Low-Fare Airline."

1 comment:

Tanya said...

What a riot!! :)